just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
