Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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