we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
