So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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