how do flat chested girls get laid?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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