His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
