first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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