i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
