My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize