I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize