Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
