One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
