Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
