we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
