who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
