fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
