what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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