47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
