I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
