he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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