Can Purell be used as lube?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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