3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
