yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
