my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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