that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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