i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
