Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
