I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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