He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
