super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
