i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
