Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
