We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
