My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
