she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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