It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
