so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
