Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
