You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
