I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
