Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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