He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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