YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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