he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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