I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
