Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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