so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
