We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
