Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
