We named our party play list daddy issues
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
