Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
