you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
