You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
