Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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