I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
