He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He shit in the fireplace
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
