tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
