I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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